Sunday poems

Friends with Ghosts,

Yesterday I called their names

Why didn’t they haunt me anymore?

Did they event exist?

was it the figment of my twisted imagination

that they were there with me, for me.

or was where they just demons in my head

Trapped in an insane asylum,

they were once called Casper the friendly ghosts.

One day they left

my head,

leaving me with a hollow head.

In nothing I trust. ( Part one)

My attempt to make catchy titles is not the only thing I know how to do! ( I’m also an expert on ” Netflix and cry” and going off topic)

Yes, that’s how I start a blog post ok.

Anyways…

it’s been a while since I’ve last written to you guys. my apologies. A lot has crossed my mind about what to write about. I’ve finally made up my mind. Just in case you’re new to this blog… I’ll explain what exactly what my theme is. On twentysomething, we discuss the reality of growing up and my personal experiences/thoughts. If you’re in your twenties or just coming out of high school, this blog will be great for you. Remember you’re not alone.

TRUST: firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone or something.

On today’s topic, I will speak mostly on trust when it comes to God. I know this is a  controversial topic but this MY blog.

trust_meter2

Growing up I was always taught not to trust. Dont trust people in a train station, don’t trust boys, don’t trust certain friends, etc. This has impacted my faith in the most negative ways. Growing up is hard and sometimes we find ourselves alone with no one to trust. I tried to do everything alone because I didn’t trust anyones help, not even God’s.  I was yelling in fear. ” God I’m drowning, you see the storm? why aren’t you doing anything!!”  I was letting myself drown. I stopped attending church, I stopped talking to God, I stopped trusting him. I put the whole world on my shoulders and yelled at everyone who wanted my help me carry it. You ever go to the gym and think you can lift 200 pounds because the person next to you was lifting that amount? You ask yourself wow I can do that!! pause….no you can’t! you just started your membership yesterday! uh hello???? well, I was thinking that I could do it all without someone spotting me but most importantly without God guiding me.Sometimes I’d pray for help and notice nothing changing. I was left in the dark without knowing I’m the one who actually put myself there. I think having faith and trusting is the hardest thing in life. Trusting yourself is even a battle sometimes. Can I really trust that i’m smart enough to pass the exam my professor told us last min about? Can I trust myself to tell someone I just met about my personal life? I can really trust myself to leave my bag at the library while I go to the printer? can trust myself to even make sense when I write my blog posts? ( that’s a no) Where does someone gain all this trust in this messed up world.

Answer: faith.

Faith in God goes a long way. We need someone to lean on. We need someone to beleive in. We need to know everything will be okay. We need to know that whatever were going through will fade away. We need to hand over the world we are carrying on our shoulders to God. We are not strong enough to carry all this burden. If we decide to do it all on our own we will drown.

Hello readers ❤
As you young cool hip teenagers would say, it’s been a min. I’ve been busy with you know “adult things” Today’s topic that I would love to discuss is the journey, not the destination to success.
Not a lot of successful people tell you how hard it was to achieve what they did. I never understood why people only showed the great aspects of their life when it’s the defeat that makes us human. I want to share to my readers the defeat in my life. I want us to reach success together and still be humble.
First of all being a college student in NYC is hard enough as it is. What makes it even harder is when jobs that are not even related to our career aspirations (retail) want us to drop out to work for them. Anyways, these past couple of months has been my hardest. Juggling grades, applying to colleges, looking for a job to get me by, you name it! I’ve gone through emotional tides trying to figure out what I want to pursue career. Struggling writer vs something practical? Isn’t it funny how we go to the practical path.. Well yeah I went there, but if you really love something sometimes you have to let it go. It’s been my hardest decision. I often spoke to other college students and noticed I wasn’t alone. So many people were changing their career paths after years of sticking with it. I did not understand myself. I was so worried because I am a planner. I cannot just go through the flow when it comes to the future, I want to plan goals. I had so many ideas but I often do not where to start. This has caused a mild depression in my life. The pressures of society telling me I should have everything figured out as if I was already forty years old. The pressures of not being great.. and falling under the lines of average. The pressure of not getting that internship or not getting into your dream college. It’s all too much for a young adult to handle. My biggest downfall was not knowing what I wanted. I didn’t want to close some doors because I wondered what could be in them. I didn’t want to settle for something average yet I didn’t try hard enough. I saw people do so much with their lives while I am home studying for my midterm. The hardest battle I went through was battling my inner thoughts. The inner voice that tells you “ no don’t do that, they will look at you weird.” Or my personal favorite, “you’re not good enough.” It’s all been too much. Although I haven’t reached the very top.. and I still have a long way to go, I’ve learned that some people get lucky and don’t work for anything; others go through all this bullshit to find something greater.
Love and peace,
-Angela
“Damaged people are dangerous. They know they can survive.”
― Josephine Hart, Damage

Freelance poetry.

For some reason this is my favorite poem I’ve written in poetry class. Writing about objects and giving them an emotional attachment isn’t the easiest thing.

The reason why i’m sharing this is on my blog is because i’m starting a new blog strictly on poetry. A wide range of poems by my favorite poets and also my own poems.

P.S ( this crap makes my poem look like one big stanza, the original is much nicer.)

The oceans of coffee

Savory sweet black tides

Drowning my restless eyes.

Grasping the sand of rich intake

You lift me up from the depths of the ocean.

Your black drops run through my lungs

Disabling me to breathe

Making  it harder for me to leave.

The heat of the blazing sun

The warmth through my body.

Encouraging me to take another dive

Swimming in your savory black tide.

Tasting the bitter sea salt you consume

Splashing across the horizon

I couldn’t get back up.

I wanted to drown

I wanted to go further in

To bigger oceans

Deeper valleys

Tidal waves

Shallow rivers

There’s no one else in the water

No one to be found

Just me and you

And the harmony of the oceans sounds.

I never wanted to escape your

Savory sweet black tides.

-a.g

Under Construction.

I wanted to grow, so I  can help people through their suffering. I wanted to make art, to show the world how powerful humans are. I wanted to be heard, to show our voices mattered. I wanted to live my life the way I wanted to, to show society cannot control our decisions. I wanted to praise God, to show there is someone who loves us infinitely. I wanted to write this to remind you everything will be okay.

Why I deleted social media.

Hey bloggers! Sorry I haven’t posted in a while, college is getting the best of me. Anyways, today’s topic is mainly on instagram and facebook and the reasons I do not use it anymore. I haven’t mentioned it but go and check out the book ” Twentysomething: why do adults seem stuck” by Robin Henig and Samantha Henig, in which this blog is dedicated and inspired by. Reading this book has opened my eyes on adulthood in numerous ways. It doesn’t focus on social media but in chapter one it touches upon the situation.

My argument on why instagram is pointless: Remember when instagram was created for photography purposes only? Yeah me either. It’s true to say that before facebook bought it, it was actually a well-rounded app where aspiring photographers could get their work out in the public. The time before selfies, food selfies, and boasting about an imaginary successful life. Don’t get me wrong, these apps can spark creative ideas or even launch you some career but I personally don;t see the point of it anymore. Everyday I would be glued to my phone looking at images of people’s lives that I don’t even talk to anymore. Instead of focusing on my life, I focused on theirs. I became spiteful of people’s lives when they would post their fame
and success in relationships, careers, and etc. In actuality they were just people who focused on making their lives seem great on social media but in person you could have sworn they were someone else. My life without social media has not changed greatly but I am way more content with my life because now my life is the only thing I focus on. I felt addicted to checking my phone all the time. I also developed this nasty habit of comparing myself to others. Post by post I would tell my self ” wow I should be doing this too.” I would know everything about almost everyone who aren’t even important. Social media became a place where you can advertise yourself. Without social media I can proudly say I don’t feel the pressure of broadcasting my life. Instead I am focused on bettering my self without anyone knowing. I now appreciate every experience given to me without needing to take a picture of it.

Mike Lipka, an old sports editor in Chicago quotes in the book “Twentysomething: why do adults seem stuck” by Robin Henig and Samantha Henig states, ” And social networking is makes it worse.  With everyone constantly on Facebook keeping tabs on everyone else is doing, there’s a strange peer pressure to do something existing/ cool/ ambitious with your life. ( or at least appear to be something exciting/cool/ambitious).”