Reality of it.

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No one really tells you what to do in your twenties. No one is there to direct you to success, or tell you how to do anything. Weird isn’t it? You spent 18 years with your parents telling you what to do and how to do it and now you’re left with people not telling you a word. It all seems a bit strange how people expect us to know everything while back in high school we had to ask to even use the bathroom. We grew up following direction, so evidently that is all we basically know how to do. Now I’m not speaking for everyone but I sure am speaking for myself. I am clueless when it comes to resumes, cover letters, job interviews, and internships. No one taught me how to do any of these things back in high school. In college they tell us, ” Find an internship.” But no one tells us the process of it.  Be professional they said.” When a year ago I was doing nothing but being unprofessional and hanging out with my friends. Were just left in the waters not knowing how to swim. The world expects so much from us that we end up feeling like failures. The truth behind growing up is it doesn’t happen gradually, it just happens. It’s hard because I’ve spent 17 plus years not knowing how important it would be to know all these things. I’ve spent all these years just enjoying life without any actual obligations. It’s a hard pill to swallow knowing your left in this huge world all alone. Yeah your friends are there to help you and support you through all this chaos, but they can’t do it for you. At this point in your life no one can. It’s up to you to make the decisions so think carefully and chose wisely. I probably mention this in every post but know that you’re not alone in this. We are all trying to figure things out. Heck I still know people in their 30’s still figuring out how to do this thing we call ” adulthood.” My only advice to you is to stop and enjoy the forest instead of trying to focus on every tree. Enjoy these crazy years of uncertainty and know you have all your life to grow up and learn these stupid adult things. ( did i mention I still don’t know how to do my taxes)

Love and peace,

-Angela.

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Starting over.

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Starting over can indicate numerous things. For me, it means evolving from my past mistakes. When I was growing up, I didn’t have the easiest childhood. I went through hardships and personal manners relating to family. Nevertheless, our past contributes to our future. This is why starting over was essential for me. In my first post I mentioned all the hardships and lack of motivation I had as a child. I lost all aspiration to learn and to become a better person. I am now twenty years ago wishing that I could go back in time and tell my self how important it was to not give up. The unfortunate thing about going back in time is that it is impossible. The only thing I can do at this very moment is to start over. Sometimes we need to start over even if we don’t think we do. There are certain areas in our life that we don’t feel confident enough in. Whether its working on relationships, our weight, or even our vocabulary, we all have the desire to do better. My only advice to you as well as myself is to let go of the past because it already happened. Look at it as an opportunity to start on a new blank page.  Try to image how greatly you will improve over the course of five years if you just remember that giving up is not an option. Personally, I wish I could just wake up the next morning and know everything I need to know, sadly I can’t. We will never be the best we can be because everyday we learn something new as cliché as that sounds. The root to success comes from knowing your downfalls and working to improve them.

love and peace,

-Angela

p.s college blows.( random but true)

I’m so happy for the positive feed back I’m getting from making this blog. It’s only been three days since I’ve had it and I honestly didn’t expect people to even read it. I made this blog for self-expression and other personal reasons. To have people tell me they enjoy reading and also share it on their Facebook wall is an absolute honor. Love you guys.

peace and love,

-Angela

Why am I stuck?

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Hello bloggers, people surfing through the internet, and others. Back to classes today and of course they were canceled. I went all the way to campus in the freezing cold and snow just to be notified of a canceled class. Anyways, today’s topic or concern if you want to call it is the feeling of feeling stuck. Let me clarify you to what this feels like. Picture this, you’re 20 miles from your destination and you’re walking in 10 feet of snow ( take a shot of vodka each time I mention  snow.) You forgot your snow boots and you get lost on the way and end up in just another pile of snow. *takes shot* You know your destination is present but you just can’t figure out how to even get there. After trying continuously and struggling through all this snow ( now I just want to get you drunk) you eventually just call it quits. At this point you’ve only walked half a mile and now you’re just tired. You feel helpless but you know you can eventually make it. The fear of getting stuck in the snow continues to linger in your mind and  now you’re stuck. ( opps I did it again) This is what being a college student and not knowing what you’re purpose in life feels like. You know you want to achieve great things but you just don’t know what it is yet. In this case, fear is the snow. It’s there stopping you from you getting to your destination, you’re so scared that you don’t want to try anymore. You just want to sleep for ten years and wake up hopefully successful. You don’t feel good enough at anything and compare yourself to others. It’s such a draining feeling that because of it you actually end up doing nothing. I can’t tell you if this feeling goes away because i’m currently in this funk, but I can tell you that you’re not alone. There are several others who are feeling this way during their twenties. Take a chance and don’t let fear get in your way. Fear is nothing but your insecurities lingering in your mind. Do not let the fear of failure get in your way either, if we were meant to be perfect we would be. Make those mistakes and learn from them and just know that arriving to your destination will take time.

P.S : I shouldn’t have taken all those shots

Love and peace,

-Angela

Advice from a twentysomething

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The reality of it is, its extremely difficult to find yourself in your twenties. We’re all out there looking for a greater purpose, looking for what makes us unique, looking for a change. We believe that we can accomplish everything and anything in no longer than a year. The truth behind this is that we can not accomplish everything in such a short time period. Take it from someone who’s tried and embarrassingly failed. I created this blog because I believe that these are the hardest years to live. Self discovery is  not easy. I want you all to know that you’re not alone in the struggle of your twenties. But before I go off and ramble some more, I would like to tell you a little bit of myself. I am a college student in the city of dreams and opportunities, well at least  that’s what they call it. New York the most inspirational cities above all.(sarcasm) Reading this you’re probably contemplating to yourself on why I would even downgrade this city, well I could write you a thesis paper on why but you would certainly have to live here to understand why I believe there are better places to live. Anyways, back to telling you more about myself. ( sorry I have the attention spam of a squirrel) I grew up failing most of my life. Academically I failed since all my life due to personal issues and the lack of motivation. Middle School I attended Catholic school and well.. let’s just say there was nothing holy about that school. Bullied for almost all of middle school, I went into High School an insecure mess. For most it was the time of their lives, for me it was experiencing the fires of hell. My depression caused for lack of education and self downgrade. My aspirations of a writer slowly decreased and the only thing I could focus on was my emotions. Some blame their past, others learn from it, but me? I often find myself stuck in it. My past has taken me to where I am today, A confused lost little millennial who wishes nothing more than to make it.

So here I am making this blog in hopes of finding myself and for you to join this long crazy ride to self discovery. It won’t be easy but I promise you it will be worth it.

Love and peace,

-Angela.

p.s – excuse my horrible technical writing skills.( grammar sucks in America)  I’ll get better in time. I promise!